Skip to main content

About this Show

Red Eye

News/Business. Discussing the day's hottest topics.

NETWORK

DURATION
00:59:59

RATING

SCANNED IN

SOURCE

TUNER

VIDEO CODEC
mpeg2video

AUDIO CODEC
ac3

PIXEL WIDTH
704

PIXEL HEIGHT
480

TOPIC FREQUENCY

Greg 9, Us 6, Jill 6, Craig 4, Jim 4, America 4, Nebraska 4, Omaha 3, Mexico 3, Florida 3, Olivia Newton John 3, Sarah Palin 3, Broadview 3, Nancy Pelosi 2, Frohm 2, Jill Dobson 2, Johnson 2, Italy 2, Andy Leevy 2, Amsterdam 2,
Borrow a DVD
of this show
  FOX News    Red Eye    News/Business. Discussing  
   the day's hottest topics.  

    August 16, 2009
    12:00 - 12:59am EDT  

12:00am
i'm eric shaun. keep right here for fair and balanced news >> welcome ba to red eye, and what's coming up on tonight's show? >> greg, it's just another manic monday in the newsroom. coming up on the big show tonight, why do nancy pelosi think protesting is un-american? and a florida woman is duped and a grown man changing his diaper. some say he should be prosecuted and others say he should be living a dream. and why women who drink have
12:01am
better sex lives, and why i'll be carrying a copy every time i go out. we have too much posse. >> something is wrong with that. >> let's welcome our guests, i'm here with ann colter, conservative political columnist and author, shuffle board on a cruise ship, retired couples would take turns doing her. and correspondent, jill dobson, she's so sweet, she givees cavities, and sitting next to me, the delightful and delovely jim morton, can you hear him on sirius radio. i would do him in the woods, probably with my family. and nobody cares if he lives or dies, it's our correspondent. you, what's that cute reporter doing in the newsroom?
12:02am
may your cards right, i'll show you my arts and leisure section. >> thank you. to the grega log. it has a seat warmer. >> it used ton heroic, often met with admiration and applause, and then something funny happened. people started speaking truth depower. to people, and now the man when wants inspired starts to perspire. and the king of cool loses his, and the man with freedom of speech is asking america to pipe down. check out today where nancy pelosi calls the protesters un-american for daring to speak up. a different context with different protesterings, these disruptions would be seen others brave. but it's not brave because for once the media is not on the protesting side. and steadying the media is
12:03am
mocking it those they would normally hail. but the protesters are ripe for mockery and you know the protesters can only be young and hot. the revolution series devotes one to the black panthers, therm young, black and adorable. and who can forget the wto protest flick, called battle in seattle, which made every protester hot enough to sleep with, which you know is purificationition because most resembled squeaky frohm in her prime. walgreen's, to call them, cranko old bastards waving their canes irrationally apartment a black guy, it's enough to make me want to hurl my fiberconthrough a window. and first, you're wearing a
12:04am
delightful black shut. >> it shows i'm dark and edgy. >> are the people showing up at the townhalls not being serious because they're uncool or is there a reason to make fun of them. >> first of all, take nancy pelosi seriously, they're being mocked because they don't agree with a liberal president. if he want to mock protesters, why don't they mock newkirk next time she protests fly swatters? >> you bring up a good point. that certain protests, the ones who are liberal, have a romantic quality to them. you're saving a poor dog or is it a goose? the animals with the wings? but tea parties, townhalls, boring boring topics. taxings and heavy. it's hard to get excited over this stuff, but somehow people r. >> i guess people do care about
12:05am
their healthcare. and i don't think it's a great subject at all. these are protesters against the liberals and now it turns out that liberals do not like speeches being interrupted and i wish they would put in a word for my college speeches. >> it is true, and i have a beef about this, not because of the actual issue, but the way that the people are portrayed versus the romantic idea of protesters seen in movie and magazines and plays and oral plays and musicals. >> . >> i in see you cocoon and cocoon the return. and your point has been demolished. but a point of reference, squeaky frohm in her prime, you referenced her as if she was not attractive. as if she's not attractive. she's got a cloudy look to her.
12:06am
but she was very cute. that is cute. she's not gorgeous, but she is cute. >> she looks like kelly lee from the bad news bears. >> she does. >> she's going to be released soon, and frank plea, when she comes out, if you're watching, squeaky, you're coming to red eye first for an interview and coffee afterwards. >> i think she's with bill marr. >> speaking of adorable, jody, i go to you, what do you think about this? is it a good idea for the democratic leadership to start picking on americans for basically speaking up? >> of course not. the idea is to let both sides talk, and originally that was the idea of the townhall meetings, but people are getting fired up and people do seem to care about this issue and are getting excited about it. and as long as both sides get to
12:07am
be heard. and i'm interested to hear how this has gone all over cyberspace, and people are talking, definitely. >> you know, you are our entertainment correspondent and i have to ask you, do you see a time when movies will be made that roam ant size these kinds of protests or does it never happen. >> you talk about the battle in satellitsatellite and i coveredt movie and interviewed charlize theron, probably the most beautiful in the planet and if the movie is made, i'm looking forward to her that aring in it. >> i think she would make a good squeaky. >> whawhat do you make of these accusations of astroturfing? phoney grassroots and a company. do you buy that stuff. >> this is how you can tell the liberals are doing what they accuse you of, and we know they have been doing this for years, starting with axelrod and acorn
12:08am
and jan schakowsky staged a protest against another democrat, and that was all on the web, and there was the campaign finance report, we have shawn tregly with the pew foundation, and nobody cared about him. and he said no, it was the charitable organizations and we funded the whole thing, and you see people, they apparently do care about their own healthcare, and they look different at the protests, utica versus florida and they're manifestly genuine, and all the democrats can say, you're doing what we usually do. >> and in all fairness, they didn't have their meds. >> bill, you made fun of these people, and how can something be astroturfing? i'll go to you since you're making fun of them. and how can it be astroturfing if they show up? it takes a lot for me to get excited about something, and i've never protested in
12:09am
something in my life. that's for real. >> you protested on your computer. it's not within the realm of possibility that these are. you look at what the republican lobbyists did against the climate. all it takes it one fringy group from either side. >> those weren't humans, and he's saying these are humans showing up. >> are you serious though? >> don't you want a punch in the face? >> i like to have a little yin and yang give and take. >> you know what else is fun? other stories. >> i'll be the judge of that. >> from changing healthcare to changing underwear. this is either the greatest story ever or the worst. a florida woman was tricked into changing dippers and providing care for a woman she met on craig's list. he said he would pay her $600 to take care of his disabled
12:10am
brother. he would be dropped off at her house and she would change his diapers and let him watch cartoons, and her husband got suspicious, and saw him transform into a normal dude who jumped into a car. apparently the man who placed the ad and the disabled brother are one in the same. and it gets better i think, the cops are called. and no files can be charged. baby huey didn't break any laws, and says the poor little in question: you know, jim, that really is a good question. >> how stupid is this lady? after 3 months, someone told her 5-11 is big for an infant. >> should she share in some responsibility? she's a caregiver, she's -- this
12:11am
is a normal thing. but why craig's list? you don't go to craig's list to find patients. >> no, this makes the craig's list killer look -- the question is will this be covered by obama care, and you still owe me for the last two sessions. >> the worst part, he made her do it on the glass fable. >> jill, you have to admire this man's trickery. >> that's true, it's a very clever con. he didn't gain any money from it, but it's illegal to con people. so you would think that there would be some law this would file under for this poor woman. this is the last thing that you want to have happen to you. >> it's disgusting. >> he feigned meant al illness for three months, and she thought it was gary abusey. >> she didn't cover this in your paper, and why is that?
12:12am
too lowbrow for your high standards. >> indeed it is, but i have a personal stake in this story. indeed one of our subscribers is himself a man baby, and without too much detail, he would like to use me as "a recycled diaper. >> the following awesome item is based on a true story, and certain locations have been changed to protect the not awesome. who's the newest girl? the suspense will kill you. so better tell your family. good-bye now. what's new from ziploc?
12:13am
you know all the little things you do to help the environment? here's one more... ziploc evolve. ♪ an ultra-light bag designed to keep food fresh... made with 25% less plastic. and made with wind energy. ♪ new ziploc evolve. better for the environment. still ziploc fresh. all at no extra cost. designed with you in mind. s.c. johnson. a family company.
12:14am
12:15am
>> hey, dead man walking, more like dead man faxing. olivia newton john's formally dead former lover not only has a pulse but a dial tone. patrick was prumled dead. and private detectives sent from mexico. insisting he's alive and well, but begging to be left alone. i understand completely. there had been suspicion that mcdermott faked his death there he is with the tree. he had mounting debts, and he secured a second passport on his birthday, and he withdrew his life savings before vanishing, and also, he left a note on the
12:16am
door saying out faking death. so jim, he went and he got a job as a debt can in a fishing community in mexico. and tell me, this is the fantasy of every guy. to look at the current state of affairs and go, screw this, i'm out. >> i think a lot of it times, we all want to up and leave but we can't because we humiliate the celebrity. i've had a lot of women turn gay, but none faked the death. >> it is the ultimate as a result, you can't just say it's not working out. i'm so terrified of breaking up, i'm going to fake my own death. >> i had a few girls do that while we were making love. >> hey, jill, how do you think olivia newton john is handling this? she has remarried and she has moffined onmoved on but this cad
12:17am
for her ego. >> a lot of people say that he faked his death and out standing death that he was trying to avoid. and she stood up and said i love him and i home he's found. and then eventually after years and years met someone else and got married and just celebrated her first anniversary, but it's not a good feeling to be dumped and have the guy fake his own death to get away from you, and it's like, dude, you're obviously not homelessly devoted and you should have been. >> if this happened to you, would you be more relieved to find he was dead or wish you were dead? >> well, things turned out well for her and she found a new man and that's good, but bad news, he just bought a boat. but i don't find that that's strange that someone would fake his own death rather than listen to another soundtrack of hers.
12:18am
>> bite your tongue, i have her on my ipod. >> bill, you tend to disappear every night. >> you're a homeless drifter. >> yet you continue to come back despite our protest stations. >> thathis guy is the worst fake deather ever. first of all, right before he does the deed, he gets a second passport and he takes all of the money out of his savings account and then he falls off of a boat. hello, we've all seen sleeping with the enemy. no one is food by this. you were a fake death amateur. >> and who uses the facts when you're dead? >> exactly. welcome to the 21st century, fake corpse. >> if you're dead, how do you twitter? >> aol. >> where would you go if you could disappear, jim. >> i don't know, probably amsterdam, certain things are legal there, it's tolerated.
12:19am
i don't know. >> i should think that having sex with dead people is tolerated in amsterdam. >> pinch, why didn't you cover this story? it's interesting and up your alley. >> well, another one hits close to home, greg. don't be confused by rumors that i myself am dying, it's a fake death. [ coughing ] sorry. i'm feeling fine, greg. >> . >> stop, stop it. tweak my toes and call me purposely. the next block is the worst. meet me by the dumpster. so guess what. again, when i least expected it, my asthma symptoms came back. so this time, my doctor gave me symbicort to help control my asthma.
12:20am
it combines two medicines that help control inflammation and constriction. so i'm breathing more freely day and night, and that feels good to me. and symbicort is an asthma controller that starts to open my airways within 15 minutes. very unexpected. symbicort will not replace a rescue inhaler for sudden symptoms. and should not be taken more than twice a day. symbicort contains formoterol. medicines like formoterol may increase the chance of asthma-related death. so, it is not for people whose asthma is well controlled on other asthma medicines. see your doctor if your asthma does not improve or gets worse. i know symbicort won't replace a rescue inhaler. it helps control my asthma and starts to open my airways within 15 minutes. ask your doctor if symbicort is right for you. (announcer) if you cannot afford your prescription, astrazeneca may be able to help.
12:21am
12:22am
12:23am
>> can a glass of vino affect your libino? >> i like that. >> a study from university of mind blowing studies in florence, italy, which is somewhere in sweden, they found that one or two glasses of wine a day can lead to a better sex life. the experts quizzed 100 women about their sexual satisfaction. using the index, as it's known in the community, doctors scored women's sexual health. and thank you for turning that off. several factors, arousal, orgasm, and pain and distance from jeremy piven, the results, women who drank two glasses a day scored the highest and non-drinkers scored the lowers and somebody pick me up a case
12:24am
of wine. let's go to the ladies. two drinks versus no drinks, it's not drinking if you're drinking two drinks. >> no, it's not, but women are thinner and can process alcohol more than us. and it's enough to get the tom off at least. >> you're talking about when you're alone. and then you spill the merlot all over you and not worry about stains. >> that's wonderful. >> he actually has to get himself drunk. >> you don't drink at all. >> no, i don't drink, i had a lot of problems at a young age, and i overcame them. personal. >> do you date women who drink? >> of course i date women who drink, i need women who drink. i require it. you ever see caligula? >> hey, jill, do you buy this research? do you think that women who
12:25am
drink more have better sex lives. >> i think this research is kind of odd that they're doing this at this point. it seems that a lot of people realize that alcohol might loosen up people once the lights are out just like tanning beds might cause skin cancer. are these new things that need to be researched? i don't understand. >> a lot of these researchers, if it wasn't for people like us who talk about it on the shows. >> apparently highly trained scientists got women drunk and test their sexual arousal and i say bring on socialist healthcare. >> i know you enjoy a margarita. >> apparently [ expletive ]. >> shall we move onto the next story? >> from margarita to mother-in-law's. terrible people here. great news for all of you women
12:26am
in women land. the next time you're arrested for kicking your mother-in-law in the face, blame it on your genes. wives are preprogrammed to hate their hubby's mommy and the husband h. whether he knows it or not, eggs it on. says hollins, instead of the husband sorting out the relationship with his wife and mother, he will stand and lept the women fight it out. in a pitiful of live piranhas. or did she? it's not like i read this crap. so jill, you're married, and how is your relationship with your in-law. >> i think it comes down to kids. i don't have kids yet. but i noticed as soon as my mother and law met all of my nieces and nephews and saw how cute they were, she liked me more, i like the gene pool. the potential for cute grandkids, and she liked me fine, and it has been easy. >> this is a roundabout way for
12:27am
you to reconfirm to america how hot you are. >> how cute my nieces and nephews are, and i'm completely unbiased when i look at the little kids. >> do you have nieces and nephews? >> i have one nephew, he's 15, and he's a good boy. but i never had a problem with girlfriend's parents. >> they always looked at you as something temporary. >> and i'm the same age as they are. >> i have lost my train of thought. bill, what do you make of this? is this more evidence that women are often meaner to women than men could ever be? >> yes, it's not mothers in law, it's women being mean to other women. women are awful human beings, particularly those in authority. you have a mom in law, and you don't know who rules the roost.
12:28am
>> could i just remind you all that the point of the settled, that none of you bothered reading was that it was the man's fault. >> yes, i saw that. he's supposed to dictate their roles, but he won't because he's scared of pis of off either one of them. and he stands by and lets them figure it out. >> isn't that a big backward? i find that the man should have to wear the pants in that situation, we're all equal here. cat it out. >> that's what i wanted to know, and i read the full study. and there was no mention of whether a whipped president inviting his mother-in-law to live with him in the white house, if there's anything responsible for that. >> let me ask you this question, do the guys that you date, does your mom go are you dating ann colt for. >> i didn't follow on the first version. >> the guy's mother. >> my mom not be more pleased. when i brought her home, she was
12:29am
so happy to me, particularly when i said how much she makes. and you were wonderful. >> i'm so happy you guys are out about this. >> she keeps telling me, tell no one, hide between a blanket before you come over. >> i didn't get her to answer the question. if you have a comment, email us. and to leave a voice mail, it goes easy. but you have to punch the numbers into a phone. and still to come, the halftime report from libbi. 
12:30am
12:31am
12:32am
>> women back, and we'll find out if we have anything wrong so far, did you think about moving to mexico? >> i do, but i come back every weekend for you. and also, i have obligations to designers and occupation government. you have no idea how much work is it to secondly run a country. you have no idea. >> i can only imagine. >> greg, usa today, this is just proof that when two people with
12:33am
half a brain gret together, the result is a quarter of a brain. greg, you asked, who could forget the pointless protest called the battle of seattle. >> starring stewart town send. >> if you say so. >> then there was, is it a goose? the animal with the wings? sure, why not, greg. why not? >> i knew it was a goose, in case there were any kids watching, they could answer me at home. >> and then you mentioned that you wish that liberals would be opposed to interrupting speakers so you agree that the townhall protesters shouldn't shout down other people. >> i don't think ours are, theirs are. but we're always against it. as for example, when cold pink stood up in the middle of sarah palin's acceptance speech and
12:34am
the only one that reported it was the local paper. >> that's my book, by the way, andy. the assault on america. >> andy drinking at happy hour in code pink in the book? >> bill, thank you for having the courage to point out that john wilkes booth was indeed gorgeous. >> is it too soon? he was gorgeous. he wore that mustache, the mustache didn't wear him. >> and by the way, the white house is distancing itself from the whole american thing with bill burton saying "i think there was a tradition of people shouting in politics in american, and if they want to shout about h healthcare. and he encourages it." >> and how long until pell olsy and -- clarify what they mental?
12:35am
>> we need a deficit clock. >> or maybe they will say that it was taken out of context. >> or they need to spend more time with their families. >> and also, why do people who belong to a party like community organizer not like community organizers. >> to the woman changing the man's dip, jill, you said that since he conned the woman, it should be illegal. but she got paid for services rendered. >> exactly what she was hired to do. except for the clause, i'm disabled which he isn't, he's a sicko. i don't know, allegedly. a creep and a sicko. allegedly. reportedly. >> jim, do you ever hear a story like this and think to yourself t. they have the grace of god? >> oh, yeah, many times i've given myself away when i shoulder up with my diapers. i'm ready now, i'm mentally ill.
12:36am
who wouldn't like to have their diaper changed and be burped after sex? it makes a boy feel young. >> presumed dead, olivia newton john's boyfriend, you can tell this guy disappeared a while ago because he used a fax machine to send a letter. who does that? women who drink have more satisfying sex lives. i know that women who drink lept me have a more satisfying sex life. >> it's not personal, andy. >> but i have a tim for the ladies, if non-drinkers scored 25.4, and two scored 27.3, imagine how high you'll score after 6 drinks. >> that's what they want you to think. >> that's what i want them to think. >> this is all a conspiracy to get free drinks, i'm telling you. >> study shows women are programmed not to like their mother-in-laws and you said that the experts blame the husband,
12:37am
they will stand aside and let them fight it out. and isn't that because men are smart and know this is a no win situation. >> first of all, i salute you for reading the settled, unlike my fellow panelists. but what i want to know, the women scientists who did the settled, when women don't like the mother-in-law, is that because of the women or is it the women getting blamed again? you have to do a little extra research. >> i'm done then. >> thank you, andy. kind of ending on a down note. >> i have to do more research. let me welcome back our guest. ann coulter, author and sinned kateled columnist. and i entered her with reservations. i like that one, i like that one. >> who writes the other ones? >> viewers write a lot of them. jill dobson, fox news
12:38am
correspondent, she's so hot, the sun leaves death threats on her voice mail. and i would toss him in the kitchen. >> i feel like a pundit. keith oberman, that guy tells it like it is. >> it's considered the biggest advancement in news reporting since the battery powered pen. it is got news, it's got abs, and it's called abnews. now with diane a the leaders of the u.s. are finishing up at north american summit. swine flu and trade and immigration and enslaving the jonas brothers. president obama expects to see draft legislation for immigration by the end of the year, and i expect to see unicorns tonight when i sleep.
12:39am
general motors will sell vehicles on ebay. starting tuesday, ebay visitors looking for cars and trucks will be able to ask car dealers questions and 225 of california's 250gm dealers are set to take part in the program. if you go now there,s a crown victoria with a standing bid, try to ignore the stains on the dash. hillary clinton's snap quote, my husband is not secretary of state, i am, unquote. she made the comment at a townhall forum in the congo, somewhere in italy. bill clinton said leave me alone, i'm having sex. i new settled says that women are three times as likely to under ur rate their boss' opinions on the jock performance, but the survey didn't lack confidence, they rated their own performance highly. what does this mean?
12:40am
i have no idea. and frankly, i know you're not listening to me, and this is a really stupid story. michael jackson fans will get to see him one last time. a judge approving the deal for jackson's rehearsals for the planned london come back concerts. i can hardly wait. i never know which one of those is right. and a stupid wacky day on wall street. the do you down 32 and the nasdaq off 8. and the s&p picking up hot chicks at a club. this is abnews, and now back to whatever you were doing that wasn't abnews. >> this next story owns a boat, it goes called the ss sassy boy. >> is the government spying on you? probably not. but it never hurts to ask. to demonstrate the allergen trappers in pledge,
12:41am
12:42am
we've trapped kimberly in this glass box... with all this dust. well, it's only dust. in that dust are allergens from pet dander and dust mites.
12:43am
eww! pledge with allergen trappers... traps up to 84% of allergens in dust. 84%? that's... nothing to sneeze at? yeah... no. that's great. allergen trappers. that's the beauty of pledge®. also available in wipes. s.c. johnson. a family company. >> a showdown is looming like something that looms over healthcare reform. and on the house floor next month, one man in the thick of it, nebraska congressman, lee terry. he's currently serving his 6th term and is a member of the house energy and commerce committee. one of the coolest committees in town if you ask me, and he's friends with red eye regular, congressmannecongressman hey, c,
12:44am
how you doing. >> great. how are you doing? >> fantastic, and a pleasure to have you on. a lot of us are wondering where exactly is neb neb? >> somewhere in the middle of america, oh, way, that's omaha where i live, that's a counting crows song. i thought it was a great song for 5th graders to know where omaha, nebraska is. >> there's another song done by another band. and i can't remember, but let's talk about springsteen's nebraska? >> springsteen, it's not one of the most peppy albums, but of course if you're doing an album after a mass murder, they tend not to be danceable. one of the darker albums, and i don't have it in my collection. of course i pretty much have thrown away all of my bruce springsteen anyway. >> that's true, i can't listen
12:45am
to him anymore. >> i burned mine during the gore campaign. >> it's the same with green day. i can't listen to it even though i love dukey because i see that sniffling anti-american [ expletive ]. >> i went to the green day concert. because i kind of like that genre of music, and when they play the song, holiday, and want gentleman of nebraska, the whole section turned around and looked and i said okay, i'll leave now, i know i'm out of place here. >> it's amazing when you're attacked and speaking truth to power, and the people doing it are like multimillionaire pop stars. >> make up. >> and are you doing any of these townhall meetings with your constituents? >> yeah, i have my first one this weekend. and then my big auldtorium one at the end of the month.
12:46am
>> are you excited in. >> i love doing it. >> are you expecting any fireworks? >> i'm on the right side of it. >> i might show up and protest you just for the heck of it. >> we need a little bit of fun. >> the people are passionate though. >> they are, and wha what do you make of speaker pelosi referring to protesters as un-american. was that a smart move? >> that's shameful. this is not astroturf. this is grassroot efforts. and these people are holding rallies and inviting us, it's not like we're holding rallies and inviting them. that should be part of the discussion. >> do you get along with nancy pelosi at all? she seems like the physical embodiment of fingernails on the chalk board. >> yes, i think that's a good description. now, do you remember willie
12:47am
wonka and veruka salt? >> she's now the speaker, she's veruka salt. she's now the speaker. instead of daddy, can i have another pony? it's daddy, can i have another plane? and daddy is chairman mer. >> it's botox. and you have your own healthcare reform idea. and it's simpler than promised by congress. >> it says if you're not insured, join us in the employees health plan, and have access to what i have in the plans, and since there are a couple of million people in the plan, it costs about half as much as the individual policy that you could buy on the market today. but no, we have to have a complete government take over, which is why that amendment lost
12:48am
in committee. but it was close, if we would have turned one more no to a yes, we would have won t. >> you share a caucus on methamphetamine. and how much do you do? >> i can only buy one box of sudafed at a time according to the registration laws. >> i ran out of time, congressman, but i would love to have you back, i have tons more questions. >> love what you do. >> congressman lee terry and coming up next, we play back some of your voice messages. some lunch.
12:49am
you hungry? yeah. me too. (door crashes in) (broadview alarm) (gasp and scream) go! go! go! go! go! go! (phone rings) hello? this is mark with broadview security. is everything okay? no. someone just tried to break in. i'm sending help right now. thank you. (announcer) brink's home security is now broadview security. call now to install the standard system for just $99. the proven technology of a broadview security system delivers rapid response from highly trained professionals, 24 hours a day. call now to get the $99 installation, plus a second keypad installed free. and, you could save up to 20% on your homeowner's insurance. call now - and get the system installed for just $99.
12:50am
12:51am
i'm toni braxton,ty for and i encourage you to learn the signs of autism at autismspeaks.org.
12:52am
>> they combined three of my favorite things, gymnasticises and horses and tight pants. it happened at the salt lake county fair, which i belief is the show me state. i've been to many of these where there's no horse, just a donkey. telephone telephone before i go to the next segment, i want to point out it was the golden palominos, who did the song, omaha. and there were at least one or two records, so i'm not going crazy, but it's time for messages from greg, so sit back and relax and feast your eyes on a beagle. >> hey, greg, i just watched abnews, and you gave a report that said the dow jones industrial average went up 97 points today. you know, that's about as useful as telling me that the temperature is 20 degrees hotter than yesterday. if we don't know what it was
12:53am
yesterday, what difference does it mean how much higher it was today. i'm watching red eye, i'm watching little things spin around. is that jamie? why do you have him spinning in the grega log? tell us why. >> greg, i've reduced my carbon footprint by not having any kids, not going anywhere, not driving anywhere, but couldn't we reduce our carbon footprint even more by thermo nuclear devastation of a 3rd world country, the ones we don't need? and if we recycle our hippies and those people who keep insisting on refusing our carbon footprint, we can reduce it by refusing them. >> you said while back that you would like to lay with the english language, and believe that's right. if you mean drag it into the
12:54am
dark alley and stab it with a steak knife while you pee in your pants. >> greg, i think are you the boss. and your cohorts there, they are boss too. no, wait a minute, i have a better idea. you're not bosses, you're not even stars. a star is nothing, the only thing that trumps the king is an ace, and that's what you guys r. aces. >> aces. i love that raccoon. i'm not a fan of raccoons. i'm not. >> you proposed to one. >> that's true. call me on my direct line. love being in the box, and we're closing with a post-game wrap up with andy leevy and a scene of shows. so guess what.
12:55am
again, when i least expected it, my asthma symptoms came back. so this time, my doctor gave me symbicort to help control my asthma. it combines two medicines that help control inflammation and constriction. so i'm breathing more freely day and night, and that feels good to me. and symbicort is an asthma controller that starts to open my airways within 15 minutes. very unexpected. symbicort will not replace a rescue inhaler for sudden symptoms. and should not be taken more than twice a day. symbicort contains formoterol. medicines like formoterol may increase the chance of asthma-related death. so, it is not for people whose asthma is well controlled on other asthma medicines. see your doctor if your asthma does not improve or gets worse. i know symbicort won't replace a rescue inhaler. it helps control my asthma and starts to open my airways within 15 minutes. ask your doctor if symbicort is right for you. (announcer) if you cannot afford your prescription, astrazeneca may be able to help.
12:56am
12:57am
>> coming up tomorrow, on the next red eye, holy cow. return appearances from harris falkner, and singer and planetary correspondent, otis, and tucker carlson, always a delight.
12:58am
time to go back to tv's andy leevy for the post-game wrap up. >> hey, jill, what do you think about paula abdul leaving american idol? >> i think it's a terrible career mistake, but fox caught up with the denver auditions without paul, and victoria beckham and she actually smiled. and if we deep having surprises like this, it will be the highest rated season ever. >> do you think it's a career mistake for her since she has no other career. >> i don't know why you would leave the highest rated show in television. i would do it for free. >> are you going to be in jersey any time soon. >> yes, i'm probably doing jersey at the end of august, club cazba, and i can't wait it get out there and have fun. do you know how many lonely nights i spent in big ernie's
12:59am
diner? turny. it's always good for a comedian, don't mess with the language, just let the crowd minute ago it out. no talent fat neck. >> is your book coming out in paperback soon? >> i hate your guts, it will be out next week in paperback, and there are other new pages, targets like susan boil, boy, am i a wimp. >> and hey, ann, do you agree with sarah palin's death panel's comment. >> i thought we were the death panel. >> i prefer death talking held. >> the death panel lift. >> ann, you're the end of life panel. >> i would be very good at that, in consultation with the table. >> so yes or no, do you agree with sarah palin? >> as long as this is the death panel. >> you have it out for us. >> don't answer the question, back to you, greg.